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hanging round hallways   
04:46pm 18/09/2002
  go HERE

i couldn't abandon my baby.

(tell me your dreams)

this is just a half-life   
12:28am 14/09/2002
mood: exhausted
it takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now tell me how to make amends

maybe i need to see the daylight
leave behind the half-life
dont you see im breaking down?
oh lately
something here dont feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape
no escape from time
of any kind?

i keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing
my fellow man
i guess i'll let you know when i figure it out
i dont mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way
it's fine by me
but you are another mystery that i am missing....

((sar i have this song for you, the next time im on MSN and you are too remind me to send it to you... its soooo beautiful))

what a week it's been. i have to write about it fast because, well...i've just taken my Seroquel and it's going to knock me out in about a half hour and i've got other things to do in that half hour!

it's safe to say im tired. exhausted. thats not a whinge, thats me just saying, im tired. 12 days in a row! i cant believe i did it. and what a fucked up week too, from the guy from the jail who screamed at me cos i couldn't sign his paper (and rightly so! i wasn't supposed to) to me having to help out Ana all week with her manager stuff, to training the new kid on the drive-through, to baking Carmelo his cake... it's just been one hell of a week. 12 days in a row takes it's toll on anyone. and i counted how many days my boss has had off in the 12 i've worked... 4. gahhhh. and tomorrow is my only day off, then im on 6 days in a row again. *sighs* i keep thinking how nice the money will be when I go on my trip out to NYC to see echo and of course Paul Dempsey. and of course i'll have over a thousand in the bank too. so i'll have the money to pay for school. so YAY! thats good.

speaking of the trip, i wish fucking they would release the dates already. maybe they dont know, but i need to book my damned tickets! im flying into Newark, New Jersey, this time, instead of the PA airport, for cost reasons, and because i hate United Express airlines. but GRRR. i want to know the dates! i am a desperate and wanting to know Jennzah.

ahh. my watch is dinging, it must be midnight.

I did not watch a single thing on the September 11th anniversary, im happy to report, except for at night when i got home (this was also the same day i got yelled at by the jail-bird), when i flipped on the telly and Enrique Iglesias was singing that song "Hero" and i got a bit teary and i missed the big E and the whole Casa Loftus and so i called out there. I dont want to write about September 11th at all because i said i wouldn't. The only thing that i will say is that im over it, and the only thing that upsets me at all about it is the people. thats it.

anyway, i called out there and spoke with the big E and Casa Loftus and immediately felt better. i heard "E-Z Pass" and spoke about Addalyn and everything. and of course me and Echo talked. but then the new drug kicked in and we had to get off the phone. but it's ok. i cant wait to go out and see them again, they are my second family. yay!

i have been planning to work on my 2 screenplays for some time now, i was reviewing some stuff on the second one i have in the works in my brain, and the music i've had for it is making the thoughts come together more, and of course the screen play that i've got a quarter of written is going to be worked on more.. i just need to get working on them. time is something that i dont have alot of these days!

miss skyfissure has just informed me that the big O has made Rolling Stone's annual Hot List.... *sighs*. can't say im surprised... and reading the article im sitting here with my sides splitting..and i also approve of his musical tastes! (Ben Harper and Jeff Buckley!). sad that my grandmother didnt take me back to England when i had the chance. GAH! look! i could have been a cool English kid too! dammit. :D

speaking again of the big O, he's going to be in a pirate movie along with Johnny Depp. AHAHAH! :D

tomorrow im going to relax. i think the baby is coming over and then Bettina and i are going to go shopping. the hobbit mentioned something about going to the Halloween Superstore... yes we have one of those and i love that place. this year im going as... what else.. an elf. :D YAY!

shit. the medicine is kicking in. so i must end this now.

(4 suburban fables | tell me your dreams)

closing walls + ticking clocks   
11:19pm 11/09/2002
mood: swoon
this isn't going to be a long entry. it's the last hour of 9/11 but this entry has nothing to do with what happened a year ago. i have feelings about it but it's not to be posted here, nor anywhere else on the internet.

three things:

last night i bought myself a copy of "A Rush of Blood to the Head" by Coldplay, and im absolutely in love with the song "Clocks". it's fucking lusher than hell, i listened to "The Scientist" all the way home from Target, which is where bought it, cos that was the only song i'd ever heard off of the album. I dont like to listen to new albums when im not sitting still, for some reason, for the first time. it feels like im not respecting them or something, not giving them the full attention that they deserve. anyway. so i only listened to "The Scientist" on the way home, and it was such a clear night and beautiful and i just was in love with the song and the clear night and the stars and the chill in the air. it was just PERFECT. i was harmonised. then i got home and i heard the song directly after it which is "Clocks" and GAH. IN LOVE. IN FUCKING LOVE. i want to see Coldplay live again. i could listen to this song for hours. if i thought Parachutes was good, this is about sixteen times better. i LOVE IT. :D so im happy with it. beyond happy. and that is my review of the new Coldplay album.

secondly, if my typing seems a bit muddled or my thoughts seem fucked, it's the new drug messing with my head. the doctor put me on this new drug Seroquel, in place of the Rispodrel, we'll see how it works. just wanted to clue everyone in. :D

thirdly, i spoke with echo tonight and that was nice. i needed to talk with her, cos we just always need to talk. its always so nice and her mum and i talked about Addalyn and everything.. it was nice. cant wait to go out there again. :D

bettina is out visiting her grandparents for the week, i have two more days of work before my saturday off, then my 12 days in a row are finished. night shifts tomorrow and friday, and friday is carmelo's birthday cake day, YAY! :D saturday Bettina and i are watching Addalyn and then going shopping and then maybe the Hobbit and i will go to the Halloween Superstore... who knows.

oh yes, and i am going to be the Hobbit's Lamaze coach. the classes start in Mid October and run to Mid November... ahahah. this is going to be very... educational to say the least. BREATHE HOBBIT, BREATHE! :D.

it seems that i dont have much to say outside of whats going on... hmmm. maybe thats because it feels like my thoughts are slipping away... im sleepy. im going to go to sleep and then write some more before work tomorrow, this story that i've been working on with chelle has finally started moving again</a>. YAY!

(tell me your dreams)

my god woke up on the wrong side of the bed   
01:51pm 10/09/2002
  you know what's fun? playing Oasis at the top volume when nobody is home and singing along at top volume.

it's a rainy and dreary day, but my doctor's called and he's putting me on a new med that will help me lose more weight, YAY! and wont make me so crazy.

also i dont have to work so long tonight, YAY! and im training which means i dont have to do so much work.

:sings along with Noel:



(2 suburban fables | tell me your dreams)

little by little   
11:20pm 09/09/2002
mood: calm

i've just seen the funniest thing on Jay Leno, "Ask the Fruitcake Lady", that is quite possibly the funniest thing i've seen on that show in ages. after Gavin Rossdale's horrifying little dance (even though i'll admit it was a bit amusing, but still horrifying!), i dont really watch Leno, and i never really did in the first place, but i just had it on and couldn't change the channel because i was too lazy to get the remote, and i saw this little thing with the Fruitcake Lady and i laughed my ass off. :D yay!

been working many days in a row, but thats going to pay off, really. MONEY! YAY! tomorrow is payday and it's off to mail cd's for that Nervousness LMAO and the package i've been promising to mail to Chelle for like ever. thats if i get out to the post office as i plan to sleep quite late tomorrow and then get up and work 4-9, then come home and go to bed quite early as i've got to work again in the morning on Wedensday. but to the post office i'll get.

i need to apologise and make amends for the recent week(s) i went through... it was self piteous and shitty of me to be the way i was... not the normal, fun, amusing Jennzah i normally am. recent medication changes and a heavy workload brought me down down down, and i tend to react in the wrong ways. but happy fun Jennzah is back in the game now and ready to keep going on with the way things were.

im going to start work on my screenplay again, soon. on Saturday im going out shopping with Bettina and we're going to bake a cake for a guy at work and stuff, but im planning on doing some writing this week in my spare moments. i feel the need to create. so good stuff coming out of me soon. be on the look out.

god Tom Green makes a mockery of himself on tv everytime he goes on some show. he's announcing how drunk he is on Leno at this very moment. *sighs* when im on Leno, at some point in the near or distant future, im going to comment on this and say "and i just want to say that IM NOT DRUNK!" or something like that. ahahaha.

OH! i got in the mail today "Heathen Chemistry" from the Nervousness LMAO and i'll be sure to burn it for those who i said i would burn it for. it is so gooooood. :D i love the song "She is Love" and "Little By Little" and of course "Stop Crying Your Heart Out".

my mum and i will be getting my niece, Addalyn, once a week starting this week. how cool. she is so cute and she LIKES ME. and i dont like babies. but she's adorable and I LOVE HER. she gives me kissies. :D

anyway, im SO tired. and against my will my doctor has said that i have to WATCH MY SODA INTAKE. GAH. this sucks so much. on average i drink alot of Vanilla Coke and Code Red Mountain Dew. but he said to watch it because of being off of that one medicine that made me take a nosedive, but now im back on it so it doesnt matter, i suppose.

im going to go to bed and dream some nice little dreams that will inspire me to write when i wake tomorrow. also Dad is supposed to call and stuff.

(tell me your dreams)

the fungus in my milk   
10:51pm 08/09/2002
mood: angry

im tired of having to write little dittys everytime. you should just set your links to elenath.

i feel like shit and i want to die. :(

(5 suburban fables | tell me your dreams)

over there stands my angry angel   
12:35am 08/09/2002
mood: tired
so tired and i cant see straight. but feel ok.

met the baby today, more can be read on my elaboration here.

i have the feeling that some of my friends are getting sick of me, are you? you know you can tell me you bastards, really. if you have a problem with me and all that nonsensical whimsy, tell me.

im just paranoid. anyway. :D

people im currently missing :

the sprite
the shannons

and several other people but my brain is muddled.

something feels stale and unchanged, something feels lost and abandoned, something feels wrong and i cant fix it. but i cant put my finger on it? someone care to help? gah.

wish i could frame you and this feeling on the wall
and stare untill there is no time

(1 suburban fable | tell me your dreams)

overworked and underpaid   
08:50pm 05/09/2002
  todays entry (and every other entry really) is here.

*shoots self in head*

(tell me your dreams)

fucking shit fuck fuck   
04:33pm 03/09/2002
mood: loathed
todays bloody fucking entry is here.


(tell me your dreams)

fucking shit fuck fuck   
04:33pm 03/09/2002
mood: loathed
todays bloody fucking entry is here.


(3 suburban fables | tell me your dreams)

you were just setting sail.   
11:49am 02/09/2002
mood: tired
so last night i called echo and i left a message on her machine, hearing the new guy. then i went to read "Blood and Gold" and i fell asleep (thank you mr.topamax and mr.risprdral) and she called back, and i MISSED THE CALL.

needless to say, i have some biggish news to tell her about my visit. GAH.

entries are still going up daily at /elenath. hope to see you there.

(tell me your dreams)

crushmaster sucks   
02:46pm 30/08/2002
mood: annoyed
whoever added me to this "crushmaster" thing, better fess up. i dont like it and it frustrated me and i think i sent spam to all my friends. gah.

so fess it up, people.

(2 suburban fables | tell me your dreams)

confidence in high speed   
01:05pm 30/08/2002
mood: aggravated
entry is at /elenath today.


(tell me your dreams)

spin spin, sugar   
11:04am 29/08/2002
mood: achey and dark
my god i have a headache that wont quit. in other news i hate money and stuff. but everyone already knew that.

i did an entry at /elenath (you'd be wise to add that to your lists, if you haven't already... because i notice some of you come in to that site through your friends lists and i dont always remember to post HERE when i do do an entry there. so add http://echoed.org/elenath to your lists..)

so an entry is there.

the hobbit woke me up an hour ago. :(

and im going back to bed, hopefully to dream of pleasant things.

spin, spin, sugar.

(tell me your dreams)

the mirror has TWO faces   
06:20pm 27/08/2002
mood: vampiress
from now on, you should be checking both /elenath and this journal for journal entries. ok? get with it.


(tell me your dreams)

the bigger you think you are the harder you fall   
12:56am 27/08/2002
mood: tired
entry at /elenath

(tell me your dreams)

lovely memories   
04:19pm 26/08/2002
mood: nostalgic
everyone must go and read this entry. that is mine and echo's rant about the fucking E-Z Pass. :D


(tell me your dreams)

i fell in love with people sleeping   
12:30pm 25/08/2002
mood: tired
im posting this at /hallways too. i did it for that journal cos i've had it longer. please dont forget im putting entries at /elenath again.

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User Number: 368327
Date Created:10-13-01
Number of Posts: 479

jennzah is an effervescent elf of many eccentric qualities.
Strengths: loyal, funny, creative, fiery.
Weaknesses: self-deprecation tends to mar her sometimes.
Special Skills: can peel a banana with her feet, has opposable toes
Weapons: fifteen pound tomcat of death, fingers that are mighter than the sword.
Partners in Crime : Echolalia, Chelle, The Sprite, Jason, Bettina, Ashley, Naya, Something for Kate.

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(tell me your dreams)

salt sweat sugar on the asphalt   
09:42pm 24/08/2002
mood: tired
im not alone cos the tv's on
im not crazy cos i take the right pills

not much happening around here. if im writing much, im probably writing it at /elenath. i need to use that space. im planning on putting up a new entry soon too.

oh yes, and i have a new webpage, and it'll go up soon too : http://fragilis.org/hallways

i miss /hallways. does anyone else? sometimes it doesnt feel right to write here.

in other news, i got Jimmy Eat World's "Bleed American" (i dont care if they had to rename the fucking album, im still calling it that, just like Bush with "Speed Kills") for free last night when a local pop station DJ came into my store. whooo! this was because he gave me free Hoobastank tickets and i couldn't go to the show. YAY.

i like Jimmy Eat World. i never really paid much attention to them, but i do like them.

all i need is just to hear a song i know

(tell me your dreams)

too much is not enough   
11:30pm 22/08/2002
mood: bouncy
entry at /elenath.


(1 suburban fable | tell me your dreams)